Special Fred
by Euterpe1014
Summary: A vidfic based on a hilarious song of the same name by Stephen Lynch. Please don't read this if you're a Gokou fan-- I don't wanna die...


Special Fred  
by Euterpe  
  
  
Argh! This is my first ever music video fic, and it's the product of serious writer's block (i.e., I'm putting off a take-home exam that was due yesterday). This is also my first DBZ fic. Hopefully the way I laid it out is not too confusing-- I tend to jump around a bit. Make sure you read the lyrics-- otherwise the story will make no sense, and you'll miss out on half the humor. If you're a Gokou fan, try not to get too offended by this. It's just that I heard this song, and it cried out 'Gokou' to me. (Just to fill you in, in case you don't know-- according to the DBZ story, Gokou was originally sent to Earth to destroy it, but hit his head at some point before he had the chance to. He completely forgot about his mission, and became the Gokou we all know and love today). Lemme know what you think, and maybe you'll see more of me in the DBZ section sometime soon...   
  
  
Disclaimer: *Enter Son Gokou* "Hiya. This is Gokou. Tonight I'm supposed to do something called a dis...dis...what was it again?" *Authoress whispers the word to him again from offstage* "Oh that's right. A disclaimer. Yeah. So..." *Gokou breaks off and stares at the floor. Gohan whispers to his father* "Psst-- tousan, keep going, you still have more to do!" *Gokou turns his head to look at him, grinning* "Hey, Gohan. Come out here and meet everybody! Everyone, this is my son, Gohan." *Gohan reluctantly comes onstage and stands next to him* "He's smart just like his dad. He's gonna be a great scholar someday. Oh, and didja know that he's the Great Saiyaman too?" *Gohan prays to Kami to kill him on the spot, and spare him this embarrassment. He speaks up* "You know what, tousan? I'll take it from here. You just go backstage and rest for a while." *Gokou clutches his head* "Good idea. All that thinking was starting to give me a headache." *He wanders away, eventually finding his way offstage. Gohan looks relieved* "Sorry about that. Even though I just called him "father", I assure you, I've never seen that man before in my life. Anyway, on to the disclaimer. Euterpe doesn't own any of the Dragonball series, or the song that this fic is based on. It's called 'Special Fred', by Stephen Lynch, and it's available on Napster if you're interested. Now goodnight everyone, and enjoy the story." *Enter Chichi* "Gohan sweetie, your father got lost in the bathroom, and he needs you to help him find his way out. Would you mind, honey?" *Gohan sighs* "Not again. Tell him I'll be right there." *Exit Chichi. Gohan follows her, mumbling under his breath* "I wonder if Vejiita would consider adopting me?" *Chichi growls and thwaps him on the head* "Sorry, kaasan."  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
*A theater. The house lights go down and a spotlight appears, centered on the star of the show. It's a sold out crowd tonight, and the crowd cheers as Kuririn takes his place onstage, holding a guitar (let's all just disregard movie 8, and assume that he can sing and play somewhat decently). The audience quiets down as he begins to speak* "Hi there. I hope you've all enjoyed the show so far. I'm here to sing a song tonight about a very special friend that I have. Son Gok-- I mean, "Fred" and I have been best friends ever since we were kids. And from the moment we first met, I've always known that there was something special about him. So Fred, this one's for you:" *begins strumming*  
  
  
//When I was   
a boy of 10  
I had a very best friend//  
  
*Flashback to Chibi Kuririn and Gokou at their first meeting. Kuririn sees Gokou's tail and comments on it. Gokou decides to try and get a better look at it, and starts spinning around in circles*  
  
  
//Fred was kind, with good intent,  
but just a little different//  
  
*Kuririn greets Gokou, who then proceeds to laugh hysterically as if it's the funniest thing he's ever heard. He pounds Kuririn on the shoulder, hard enough to send him flying face-first into the dirt*  
  
  
//Oh Special Fred  
Momma dropped him on his head//  
  
*Flashback to a toddler Gokou falling off a cliff and landing on his head*  
  
  
//Now he's not so bright, instead//  
  
*Gokou gets up, rubs his head, shrugs, and toddles off*  
  
  
//He's a little bit special  
just a little bit...  
We'd play tag, and he'd get hurt//  
  
*Chibi Kuririn is chasing after Chibi Gokou, who, not looking where he's going, proceeds to fall off another cliff*  
  
  
//I'd play soldier, he'd eat dirt//  
  
*Gokou and Kuririn are performing their daily regimen of excercise under Muten Roshi, until they hear a loud rumbling. Yes, Gokou is hungry once again. Desperate for some food, he stops what he's doing, sits down, and begins shoving handfuls of dirt into his mouth*  
  
  
//I liked math and spelling bees,  
Fred liked talking to a tree//  
  
*Kuririn is intently studying an issue of Hustler from the immense "library" at Kame House. Gokou picks up a magazine, opens it up, and stares hard at it, puzzled. After a few minutes, he gives up, puts the magazine down, and runs outside to say hello to a palm tree*  
  
  
//Oh, Special Fred  
Momma dropped him on his head  
Now she keeps him in the shed,  
'cause he's a little bit special//  
  
*Muten Roshi is teaching the boys a complicated attack. Kuririn listens and watches carefully, hoping to get the better of Gokou this time. Gokou just stands there, picking his nose*  
  
  
//just a little bit...//  
  
*Gokou has discovered the miracle of Hoi Poi Capsules-- now he can eat lots more food in just one bite! He shovels a handful of them into his mouth and swallows, sighing happily. A few seconds later, he hears numerous popping noises. He looks down at his stomach as it swells up. Uh oh...*  
  
  
//I ran track, hung out in malls  
Fred ran headfirst into walls//  
  
*Gokou is inside, putting himself through special training to try and make his head "stronger". He backs up, takes a deep breath, then runs into the nearest wall. As he comes into contact with it, the plaster cracks, and pieces of the ceiling rain down on him. He shakes them off, and tries again. This time, he knocks down the supporting structures in the walls, and Kame House comes crashing down around him. Oops...*  
  
  
//I had girls and lots of clothes//  
  
*Flash forward to Garlic Jr. Saga. Kuririn is decked out in his white zoot suit and hat, with one arm slung around Marron, as he speeds around in a snazzy car*  
  
  
//Fred had names for all his toes//  
  
*Flashback to Gokou and Chichi's wedding night. It's 3:00 a.m., and Chichi is trying for the umpteenth time to give Gokou a crash course on the facts of life. The groom could care less, however, as he sits there playing with his feet*  
  
*Kuririn pauses from his song for a moment, to ponder exactly how both Gohan and Goten were conceived*  
  
  
//Oh Special Fred  
Momma dropped him on his head  
Now he thinks he's a piece of bread  
'cause he's a little bit special//  
  
*Flash forward. You-know-who has just unleashed an enormous Genki Dama, saving the world once again from the biggest threat it has ever known: the Super Perfect Metal Majin Demon-jin, a hideous creation from the labs of Dr. Oreg. Now Gokou and Buruma are at Capsule Corp., ready to wish back to life all of the Z-senshi who died in the fight. They've collect all of the Dragonballs, and Buruma prepares to summon Shenron. As she does, Gokou picks up one of the balls and stares at it. He accidentally lets go of it, and it falls to the ground, shattering into a zillion pieces. Shenron gets really pissed off and disappears forever. Buruma glares angrily at him, while Gokou just sweat-drops, puts his hand behind his head, and gives her the classic Son grin.*  
  
  
//Just a little bit...//  
  
*Cut to sometime later. Gokou is training in the woods. He powers up into SSJ and happens to catch a glimpse of his own reflection in a puddle. That weird-looking blond guy must be another Saiya-jin who's come to take over the Earth! Gokou immediately jumps into the puddle and attacks the villain. A few minutes later, while covered from head to foot in mud, he finally notices his opponent has disappeared. He tries to trace the guy's ki, but, doggone it, he's disappeared!*  
  
  
//One day talking to Special Fred,  
he grabbed a brick and he swung at my head//  
  
*Kuririn and Gokou are sparring, but Gokou's just too quick for him. He beans him a hard one right in the head, then begins to laugh*  
  
  
//And as he laughed at me, that's when I knew  
that Special Fred just made me Special too!//  
  
*After receiving the blow, Kuririn joins in with his laughter. He finally gets it!*   
  
  
//Now I laugh as I count bugs  
I give strangers great big hugs//  
  
*Kuririn spots Vejiita. He runs up to him and envelops him in a huge bear-hug. Vejiita stands there, arms at his sides, trembling in disgust. He becomes enraged enough to reach SSJ3, producing a burst of energy that sends Kuririn flying*  
  
  
//Next to me, Fred is fine  
yeah, he's a fucking Einstein//  
  
*Kuririn looks on in admiration as Gokou stands around, scratching his butt*  
  
  
//Oh, Special Fred and me  
now we're not right in the head-- you see,  
now we're not so bright instead,  
We're a little bit special  
Just a little bit special//  
  
*A frustrated Juuhachigou steps out of hers and Kuririn's house, carrying little Marron in her arms. She's sick and tired of putting up with her "special" husband and his friend. She turns around and encapsulates the house, puts it in her pocket, and then flies away at top speed, never once looking back*  
  
  
//That bastard Fred made me special  
Just a little bit special//  
  
*Kuririn remains standing next to Gokou, with an idiotic grin on his face, waving goodbye to his wife. She'll be back soon, he's sure...*  
  
  
//Just a little bit...  
just a little bit...  
Special//  
  
*As Kuririn finishes, the audience bursts into wild applause. The lights come up to reveal them: Vejiita, Pilaf, Tao Pai Pai, Mr. Satan, Dr. Gero, the Jinzouningen, Cell, Freezer, the Ginyu Force, Brolli, and Raditz, all giving a standing ovation. But the one clapping loudest of all is the tall figure in the front, with the spiky hair and the orange gi.*  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Yeah, stupid, I know, especially the ending. But if you've been patient enough to stick it out to the end, I'd really appreciate it if you'd review and let me know what you thought. Peace out. 


End file.
